Discussing Your Various Opinions

Many persons are here in the parlour at present.  They have been discussing your various options and opinions.  Have you been eavesdropping on their conversations?

No-one currently in attendance is quite sure as to whether you are an educational perennialist or not.  Perhaps you would be so kind as to announce your presence in a suitably formal manner and state your position on the matter in question.  You may then be offered some exceedingly delicious refreshments.

How to Impress the Other Guests

As you are probably aware, dear visitor, this proper tea parlour is home to many delightfully enlightened conversations.  Several guests are most eager to inform you of the worthy topics being discussed here.

First impressions are quite important on many occasions.  No-one enjoys having their time wasted by the inappropriate behaviour of others.  It is why it is always important to ensure your arrival is likely to be greeted with a welcome.

You may also wish to ensure that your name is remembered in the way you intend it to be, and that you are not considered to be a nuisance by posterity.  In the parlour meant for you, as in many other suitably pleasant social environments, time is of the essence.  It is especially necessary to express an important point of view while the tea is still brewing.

Some of my guests are known to bring along a few notes from time to time, to remind them of important facts quite suitable for conversational consideration.  Facts are often so much more amusing than fiction.  You will even find a few of my guests in possession of at least one or two examples of my blog-pamphleteering endeavours.  It is very kind of them to indicate an appreciation of my literary pursuits.

Do you write or do you prefer to talk than present your points of view on paper or a digital screen?What do you believe to be the purpose of a mutually enlightening conversation? Can you remember the last time you participated in one?  Are most people too busy, preoccupied or distracted to know how to converse well?

Some of my other guests may not be familiar to you at present, though please do not be too concerned about any feelings of social ignorance you may have.  You are probably one of my most recent acquaintances and therefore unlikely to know or say very much at all of any consequence at present.

Now, perhaps you would like to pour the tea and say something my other guests may at least find interesting.

How to Respond to My Invitation

My guests frequently complain that they receive my invitations too late.  In the busy world of the 21st century, there are always prior engagements, other commitments, and even comments to make elsewhere.  The more enlightened recipients of my invitations therefore always rearrange their schedules accordingly.

Nothing is ever as important as an invitation into my parlour, as anyone in the know will know.  In view of the distress a busy life can cause, I have ensured there are still plenty of opportunities in the 21st century for enlightened personages to enjoy conversations of the highest quality.

A great many of my guests have been known to sit quietly, drink tea, eat cake, and smile pleasantly without contributing much in return.  If you are too shy to say anything, you may like to tell me why.  Just whisper (even by email - twaklin (at) gmail . com).  No-one else will hear.

What to Bring

It is always a difficult topic of consideration...

When invited into a parlour, should one bring a gift or two for one's host(s)?

It can be quite a source of embarrassment, as I am sure you will know if you have ever received an ugly potted shrub or yet another pot of moldy homemade jam, or even the sort of pot that is never suitable for conversational enhancement.

As you have been invited into my parlour, I should perhaps enlighten you about my own preferences.  You have already been informed about when to arrive, what to wear, what to say, who to mention, how to assist and what there will be to eat.  You may therefore like to bring a smile, some enthusiasm (but not too much), some knowledge, some wit, and the willingness to comment on some of the various blog-pamphlet postings you have already studied.

Material gifts can often be a nuisance, even if they are not flea-ridden puppies or aphid-covered chrysanthemums.  Should you wish to present Queen Charlotte with something she would appreciate, please be advised that she has been trying for some time to give up the snuff habit, card playing and listening to Mr Handel's iTunes on her iPod, especially during important meetings.

You may like to bring along a small sample of your climatological needlepoint skills, as we are especially keen to encourage durable home furnishings and pleasant weather.  You may even request to be shown the music room, where you will be most welcome to perform to a similar standard as Mr Mozart, possibly with a composition of your own devising.

If you still wish to provide me with a material gift, I do like adding to my musical silver snuffbox collection, so I am quite happy for you to provide an exquisite example of the craft for my enjoyment.   If you are unable to choose an antique of suitable quality, you may, instead, bring along a short summary of your latest enlightened readings, your views on enlightenment, women in society, Adelaidean secrecy, and world peace.

Beforehand, however, you may also wish to know a few more things about me.  Do remember, though, that gossiping is strictly forbidden.  It is something never to be brought into any conversation.

Who to Mention

Many of my own associates have considerably informed opinions.  Mentioning the names of such persons can therefore make an important contribution towards the enlightenment of others and is never vulgar.

My dear friend
Max Weber

On the other hand, uniformed name-dropping, dubious gossip, and the relaying of tabloidian political news should never be permitted.  The parlour is always a place for truth and high standards.  It is where the great and the good can mingle amongst those who rarely deserve to be mentioned, however well intentioned the latter may be.

Even if you are usually unlikely to find yourself within my social circles, we may have some acquaintances in common.  You may wish to mention them as a form of referral for your own accomplishments and attributes.

However, I expect all visitors to the parlour to be able to distinguish between expertise and fallacies, especially if they expect to be served tea.  Do you have a proper respect for reasonable authority?

When to Arrive

If you are not usually anywhere near my little villa in Adelaide, you may arrive here in a celestial teapot or some other convenient means of transportation.  I have heard that there is a frequent and quite modern public carriage service called The Internet.  Some of my guests have informed me that it stops near here on a regular basis by request.

My other guests hope you will always arrive here at a time suitable for conversation.  I hope you will ensure your presence is usually made known to us before the tea goes cold.

What to Wear

A pleasing ambience is so much easier to maintain when one's guests wear garments of refreshing elegance.  I have studied this topic to a considerable extent and wish to draw your attention to some of my findings:

Shoes and Enlightenment

Good Manners and Many Hats

Tea with Twaklin

The Dress

Now, do please consider your own attire whilst I retire to my boudoir for a while.

What to Say

Elegantly enlightened conversation is the purpose for which a parlour is usually most suitable.

My own guests are required to be good listeners as well as eloquently good thinkers.  Expressing opinions on any of my blog-pamphlet postings is, of course, very easy as there are corridors to this parlour throughout my little villa.

Now, do let me know something about the conversational topics you wish to contribute here.

What to Eat

A parlour is not a dining room.  It does not require extravagant catering, just something to nibble on when tea is served.

Rich cream is best when provided only in small portions.  Skimmed milk is most elegantly presented in a very beautiful crystal jug, whilst the full-cream variety is best kept for porcelain.

Bread and honey are suitable for a queen, a philosopher or an opera singer.  Live birds in a pastry crust are usually unwarranted, unless the preceding conversation has been particularly dull.  A thinly sliced light rye makes wonderful toast.

Songs of any variety are best performed in the music room, and not in the parlour.  Speaking and eating should be perfected in a parlour, but never at the same time.  And the conversation should always be in good taste.

How to Assist

It is a very difficult decision.  Should my parlour be pink or green?  I can think of no other suitable colours.

My library is pink, as is my studio.  My hallway is a rich cream.  My boudoir is lilac and my music room is a pale green. My salon is in shades of coffee and caramel.  The in-house headquarters of my secretariat is the colour of parchment.  My observation tower laboratory is of black and white and a lovely, peaceful grey-blue.

Colours are such important considerations.  And I do hope my tentative choice of wallpaper provides a suitable visual ambience for tea and conversation.